Two men searching for their lost wife’s.
1st: how does your wife looks?
2nd: 5.9 heights, 36-24-36, fair, blue eyes, sexy, what is yours?
1st: forget mine, let’s search yours.

Teacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
Boy: my penis in your hand.
Teacher slapped and asked what is this?
Boy: oh I forget to put space between pen and is.

Fifa has decided that girls should be goalkeepers for the world cup, because no matter how wide they open, they never lets the balls go in.

What is contraceptive pill? It’s the 2nd best things that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy. Now done ask what the 1st thing is.

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it’s only when you leave her a virgin.

Wife ask husband, how many women he had slept with, husband proudly replies, only you darling with others I was wake.

4 stages of love.
1. Hand in hand.
2. Hand in that.
3. That in hand.
4. That in that.
Now don’t ask me what is that.

On first night both man and wife claim virginity.
Wife: if this is your first time then how you fucked so well?
Man: if this is your 1st time then how you know I fucked so well?

Men are raping a woman. The woman laughing nonstop so after sometimes the men get bugged and ask her, why she is laughing, she replies: I have aids.

Wife bought a new transparent bra and wore in front of her husband.
Husband: honey you look very sexy in this bra.
Wife: you know salesman was also saying same thing.

Girl enters a sex shop.
Girl: where is the duplicate penis section?
Clerk: it’s their mam.
Girl: how much for this big red one?
Clerk: sorry madam, its fire extinguisher.

Why are western guys more advanced than our guys? Answer: they keep their minds in work and penis in pussy, but our guys keep pussy in mind and penis in hand.

Fate is like getting raped; if you can’t fight it learn to enjoy it. Success is like masturbation, it’s in your own hand. Education is like hiring prostitute, it needs both money and talent.

Height of innocence: having your girl friend naked beside you and masturbating.

Height of laziness: man having sex in train and waiting for the train to jerk.

Most interesting T-shirt quotes of a girl. Excuse me! My face is above.

If a married woman is called polo; the mint with a hole, then what's an unmarried woman called? Center fresh.

Why aunties like to have sex with youth?
Every used engine will get refreshed only when its filled with fresh oil and it gives more mileage to its owner.

Nurse comes in doctor room.
Doctor ask: why is your one boobs out of your shirt?
Nurse: these medical students never keep the things at place after use.

Height of recycling: man giving used condom 2 his son to use as a balloon and after bursting giving to his daughter to use as hair band.

Six cans of beer 600 rs. Four pegs of whiskey 400 rs. Two taquilla shots 300rs. Driving home with a girl who drank all this. Priceless

What will you do if you get sexy wife with figure, with red lips, brown hair, moist boobs, sexy waist and a penis?

Why women wear panties with printed flower?
It's a way of saying come on guys, water my garden.

Difference between power and stamina?
Power is when a man can hang a wet towel over his erect penis.
Stamina is to keep the penis erect till the towel dries.

Boy: my age is 20 years.
Girl: my age is 20 years also.
Boy: so come to my room.
Girl: why?
Boy: To play 20-20 match.

Banta was travelling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror. Banta shouted you are trying to see my wife, sit back. I will drive.

Define rape: rape is not a crime; it's just a surprise sex.

Wife: if I sleep with your most loving friend what would be the first thought coming to your mind?
Smart husband: that you are a lesbian.

Height of shame: You running with a full erect male sex organ towards a wall and your nose collide first.

A boy comes to class with broken specs.
Teacher: what happened?
Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
Teacher: but how did your specs break?
Boy: she closed her legs.

An army got married first night realizes wife having periods.
He telegram to HQ: red alert on front extend leave.
DQ: attack from back and report.

Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone. Sex is like a pack of chips, one you start you can't stop. Life is like a dick once it gets hard, it ucks.

Sex teacher draws picture of male sex organ and asked does anyone know what this is?
Kid: ya, my dad have two.
Teacher: two?
Kid: a small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.

Wife in good mood rotating husbands sex organ in bed.
Husband: you want sex?
Wife: no., just joined car driving school and practicing gear changing.

Three ladies saw a dog ucking violently.
Dr's wife: they are enjoying life.
Lawyer's wife: no, it's a rape.
Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.

A lady was wearing jeans in a train.
A man who saw that her zip was open said: madam, your lips are laughing.
Woman: hey they want a cigarette.

Wife in sexy mood lovingly says: I want to have a wild experience. Tie me up and do whatever u want. Excited man tied up his wife and raped her sister.

A girl wears sleeveless dress every time. On right arm she writes 'C' and on left arm 'L'.
friends ask: what does it means? She said: I am cool.

A naked lady gets into taxi. Driver looks at her. Lady: haven't you ever seen a naked woman?
Driver: no I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me.

A sexy and attracted female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
Boss: wow, what?
Girl: your eyes.

What is long and hard? Has a hole at the tip and when inserted into wet, hairy, tight hole, makes men and woman feel great? Vicks inhaler.

Define rape with the help of one good example. Rape is a very very difficult job for example; it's like playing golf with a continuously moving hole.

Difference between bad and worse.
Bad: when your children find your last night used condom.
Worse: when they insist you to blow that balloon for them.

How to irritate an archeologist? Show him a used whisper and ask him which period it belongs to.

What's similarity between garden and breast? Both are made for kids but mostly used by adults.

In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

Angry husband sent sms to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite. Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse.

A nigro man attended a night party without dress. The man thought he was in black suit and told your suit is nice, but tie is in the wrong place.

A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ. He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.

T-shirt quotes: in front-I am virgin. At back: this is my old t-shirt.

Girl told to tire mechanize have sex with me. Mechanic told, ok. Come to swimming pool. She asked why? He replied because I can identify the hole only in water.

A British man sees front side of girl t-shirt that reads: handle with care. Next day the British man wears jeans pant and writes candle with hair.

Why girls are called babes?
Answer: because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

Lady: why is your husband so punctual in returning home from office?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. Sex will be started at 9pm sharp, whether you are hear or not.

T-shirt quotes of girls. Touch here if you dare, more enjoyment per liter, weapons of mass destruction, looking free touching costs, sure for pure milk, for sale.

A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

A drunken says while kissing his girlfriend: darling your lips are very salty.
Girl: stupid stand up.

Why do girls carry milk to give their husband during first night, because they need lots of curd from husband in return.

A guy takes a girl to his room, throws down his paints and says. Meet my little brother. Girls pick up her bag on the way out says call me when he grows up.

A sexy and attractive female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
Boss: what?
Girl: your eyes.

Teacher: who's the big person, you or your dad?
Kid: me of course.
Teacher: why.
Kid: I stopped drinking milk from my mom, dad hasn't.

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

Research shows men are fat than Women because every night men gets fresh milk and two big apples while women only gets one banana two nuts and one spoon curd.

All eggs in women decided to fight against sperm. They waited with guns in the sex organ. That night no one came, suddenly one shouted guys attack is from backside.

Girls prayed to god why you don't make boy's sex organ more beautiful.
God: no way, though I made it ugly, you suck it; if I made it beautiful you will eat it.

Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical? It's when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.

There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress.

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited.

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.

A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.

Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.

Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk? Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don't uck, how do you feel.

A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Animals: your tails in front.

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