Cool definition
collage: a place were dad pays & sons play,
semester: seasonable wars,
arrear: show the interest in a subject,
love: hunter traps in deer's net.

Height of honesty: sitting in an examination hall and opening a bit memorizing the answer and then writing it without seeing.

When i was studying LKG in school sir: asked me i have four apples how can i divide it among five children i answered kill one child.

This has been declared as the world's most difficult tongue twister;" the sixth six sheikh's sixth sheep is sick'... Try it...

Some one asked me about your age I said the way you dress-19 the way you speak-18 the way you walk-17 for your beauty-16 and totally you look 70 years what grandpa I am correct.

Youth calendar
January - rose
February - propose
March - gift
April - lift
May -c hatting
June - dating
July - kiss
August - miss
September - drop
October - escape
November-rest
December - next.

Close your eyes and think about yourself for 30 seconds. Now open your eyes and you will realize that you have wasted 30 seconds.

Man: my mobile bill how much?
Call center girl: sir, just dial 123 to know your current bill status.
Man: stupid, not my current bill my mobile bill.

The birth history of a legend: a beautiful baby was born on earth cuckoo sang, peacock danced, tigers and lions got feared of his birth, angles blessed him and named. his hobbies: playing against dinosaur, swimming in tsunami, skating in volcano, catching bullets when someone shoot, running against plane, playing with lighting be proud to have this legend as your friend.

Men's always needs a beautiful wife intelligent wife caring wife loving wife adjustable wife cute wife but law allows only one wife.

Beauty is not judged by your clothes or your appearance. it is judged by your inner beauty so change your underwear daily.

What is education? Wasting quarter part of life to learn how to waste balance part of life.

Love is visiting card. Life is a credit card. Wife is a visa card. Lover is an atm card, but friendship is a ration card. Keep it safe.

Man marries a girl and invited everybody except his parents. A friends ask the reason he replied did they invite me for their marriage.

Worries are like birds let them fly over you but don't let them build a nest in you life is a precious gift let not worries eat you.

The most important thing in our life is sleeping because it is only way to escape our problem for few hours.

Help a girl when she is in trouble and she will surely remember you when she is again in trouble.

Husband to hotel manager: come fast, my wife is going to jump out of the window and commit suicide. Manager: what can i do? Husband: idiot, the window is not opening.

Man sitting on the top of the mountain and studying. When a person asked what you are doing. He replied higher studies.

Hi, I am getting register marriage tomorrow. Sorry to inform through sms, because here lot of problem. I am inviting only a few friends. So please come tomorrow to register office at 2.00 pm. don't bring any gift. Just bring a one smart girl. Ok.

Man sitting on the top of the mountain and studying. When a person asked what you are doing. He replied higher studies.

Behind every successful student, there is one girl friend, but what about unsuccessful student? Simple Lot of girlfriends.

One day I saw a smart boy in a restaurant. What a style. What a beauty. What a fashion. I walked near to him, my goodness that was a mirror.

Three Man sleeping on one bed. They have not sufficient space for sleeping comfortable. I Man go down to sleep on floor. 1 Man said, now spaces available come back.

What's the difference between problems, talent, and luck?
Two boys love one girl=problem.
One boy love two girl=talent.
Two girls love one boy=luck.

Do you know fun in chemistry? If you drink ethanol (alcohol) you will dance for others. If you drink methanol (poison) others will dance for you.

Two interesting facts on earth. 1st fact: you can't touch all your teeth with tongue. 2nd fact: after reading this all fools will try it.

Lab work
Experiment no: 1
Aim: to disturb you.
Apparatus: mobile.
Procedure: 1) missed call. 2) Blank message. 3) Repeat 1& 2.
Result: you are disturbed.
Effect: I am happy.

Five friends lived in a room, namely mad, brain, fool, somebody, and nobody. One day, somebody killed nobody when brain was in bathroom. Mad called police. Mad: is it police station? Police: yes, what the matter? Mad: somebody killed nobody sir. Police: are you mad: mad: yes sir, I am mad. Police: don't you have brain? Mad: brain is in bathroom sir. Police: you fool. Mad: no, fool is now reading message sir.

Hi don't msg me for 2weeks. I am going two studying for lkg class revision test. So don't disturb me please- by seriously comedy group. (govt approved)

Why did 18 Manjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.

Man ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Man: "No, who wrote it?"

Teacher: can you define the word teacher?
Student: teacher is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

Man puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.

What do you call a Man who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.('T' silent!)

Why can't Man dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone

"Oh, look at the dead bird. "Man looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

English teacher: "one smart young handsome intelligent boy is walking on road". Change this to an exclamatory sentence.
Girls: hey vinith is going yaa.

Hi what are you doing? Watch NDTV now, they are showing the fight between two girls in the street. The reporters ask, why? I want vinith.

Today is a day of smart people, so send this msg to someone who looks smart. Please don't send back to me. I already got 2, 86,952 msg. I know this is first msg for you.

In a park two lovers eating chips by looking into each others eyes. Boy: dear what are you thinking at this moment? Girl: I think you are eating more chips than me.

Darling I need to meet you. Can i come today toady or should I come tomorrow. Ok if you are busy. I am ready to wait. Your lovingly semester result.

Good night cute face. Your on smile little a get to trick my only was this but me with angry get will you msg this reading after hai. (Now read reverse).

Please forward this msg to all your girlfriends, very handsome boy needs there phone number immediately contact 0000000000. Please don't neglect. Your small sms can help the girls.

A kid's gets zero in a paper.
Father angrily asks: what's this?
Kids: teacher did not have more stars to give, so she started giving moons.

A hen laid an egg on the Ind-Pak border. Both of them fought for egg. Finally Ind said whoever kisses more women in other country wins the egg. Pak agreed. Ind went to pak and kissed 10000 women and came back. Pak were excited. They said it's your turn. Ind said keeps the egg with you. Jai hind.

Girls are like internet virus; they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download your problems and delete your happiness.

Tell me why you are avoiding me these days? Did I do anything wrong? Keep in touch with me at least once a week. It's really hurting. Yours lovingly soap.

In a nursery school canteen, there was a basket of apples with a notice written over it, do not take more than one god is watching. A little further on the counter there was a box of chocolates, on which a child had written, take as many as you want. God is watching the apples.

How do you get Man on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.

To see light look at suns, to see love look at moon, to see beauty look at nature, to see hope look at future. But to see all of these mirror believe in your self.

I am thinking I am disturbing you. Sorry this is my last message and I will not message you any more good bye. Never expect that from me, I born to disturb you.

Today I met some one in coffee shop. Really good looking, smart, delightful, more like a celebrity. As I walked nearer damn it! Saint Gobain mirrors.

Define girlfriend: A person who changes every habit in a boy and after a year says now you are not like before, you have changed a lot, I hate you.

God gave me one wish. I asked world peace, he said its impossible, so ask something else, I asked him to make you intelligent, he said wait let me try world peace.

I feel the feel you feel. Do you feel the feel I feel? If you feel the feel I feel, I too feel the feel you feel. Hey don't feel, if you feel I will also feel.

This is a very dangerous msg so those who have weak heart, pregnant ladies, old people and kids please don't read this message. The message is: "you are so lovely".

Do you know the difference between coffee shop and wine shop? Simple coffee shop is starting point of love and wine shop is ending point of love.

Why does Man always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.

An advice from me, if anyone throws a stone on you, throw a flower on them but make sure that the flower is still in the pot.

If you want to be great in your life, you must walk with great people. I have no objection, you can walk with me.

Do you know 70% of the college students in the world are suffering from AIDS. Can't believe it, but its true. AIDS (Arrear in Different Subject).

Do you remember the day we traveled in the car? My dog put its face out of the window and you put yours. People shouted twins twins.

Once Man brought some tablets and started cutting the edges around the tablets. do you know why? he wanted to avoid the side effects.

Height of bad luck i am just wanted to kiss beautiful, intelligents,smart,cute person on this world but what to do my lips cannot touch my cheeks.

Man drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.

When Man wife died he changed his name to Man B.A.(Bachelor again). he got married again. guess his new name Man MA(married again).

Importance of thumb child uses it for chewing illiterate people use it for sign winners for victory and my fans are using it for reading my msg.

Why do girls look beautiful? Its real or false.. Girls look beautiful because of just boy's imaginations.

If you want to be winner in life and want to become a great person listen to what your girlfriend says and do the opposite.

Next generation child will sing in school twinkle twinkle little star i just went to royal bar whisky rates are up so high so drink beer with chicken fry.

Hi stupid, how are you stupid, how is your work stupid, Hey stupid S-Super T-Talented U-Unique P-Person I-In D-Demand

You are a dog hey don't look at me dog means d-dearest o-of all g-good friends.

Reynolds-The pen of India
Margo-The soap of India
Amul-The taste of India
You-The waste of India
Sender-Star of India.

Fantastic love story: Hero love heroin
but heroin love villan
but villan love hero sister
but hero sister love heroin brother
but heroin brother love villan sister
but villan sister love hero brother
but hero brother love heroin
but heroin love villan finally to person commit suicide whose that? Producer and director..

What is globalization? Answer: Diana's death Reason-an English princess with a Egyptian boy friend in a germen car driven by a Dutch driver crashes in a French tunnel while being chased by Italian paparazzi on Japanese bikes treated by Portuguese doctor with Brazilian medicine this message was written by an Indian on a Chinese phone smuggling by a Pakistani via Bangladesh. This is globalization.

A good friend is one who comes to hospital with flower and goes but a true friend sits next to you and says nurse super da.

Eyes: to look at you hand: to pray for you mind: to remember you heart: to care for you and legs: to kick you.

Think well work well study well sleep well play well put your mobile inside the well because you are not msg me well.

Teacher all of you write your lover name in paper after 2 min boys finished teacher after 10 min girls additional paper mam.

Sometimes i forget to ask how are you sometimes i even miss to say hi but it doesn't means that i forget you i am just "lazy like you"

A friend gives "love" a good friend gives "protection" a best friend fives "life" but a real friend gives figure cell number.

When you feel life is boring don't forget to call me and i will call you and hold your hands and we will go for a walk on a river bridge i will show you where to jump.

Three ways to catch a tiger
1.Newtons law: allow the tiger to catch you then you will catch the tiger.
2.Einstein law: chase the tiger until the tiger becomes tired then you catch the tiger.
3. Indian police method: catch a cat and beat it until it agrees it is a tiger.

If you tell me what's in my bag i will give you some of the eggs from my bag also i you tell how many are there i will give all the eight hmmm.. give me a clue.

Man standing near the door
wife: why are you standing here?
Man: i am going to hunt a lion
wife: then do
Man: how can i go a dog is standing outside.

Hi i am from LKG "C" section i lost my "pencil which having a rubber " it cost Rs.3 i don't know you but if you forward this i will get 1paise if you have a heart please forward this please uncle.

This is a dirty joke if you don't like reading please avoid do you really want to read this are you sure ok a white dog fell into mud.. Dirty na..?;-)

World shortest "love story" he tried, she smiled and baby cried.

When you were born the clouds parted sun shined and god appeared in front of all people and said sorry for mistake kindly adjust.

Think different do different make different achieve different speak different then only you can go to mental hospital.

Everybody wants someone special someone nice thoughtful someone honest someone cute someone perfect someone attractive but i cant be present everywhere.

Winter comes again and again summer comes again and again but you will not born again and again because god did not make mistake again and again.

I kicked on lion's face. i pulled on tiger's tail. i broke cheeta's leg. i threw the elephant out... after tat wat happend?? TOY SHOP OWNER KICKED ME OUT OF THE SHOP.

Ages of drinks: 1 to 8 -milk
9 to 13 -horlicks
14 to 25 -beer
26 to 40 -oldmonk
41 to 60 -tonic
after 60 once again milk with special music.

Two man brothers appear for the exam 1st writes father's name as daljit singh 2nd writes manjit singh teacher what's this? man: otherwise you told we copied.

Man got computer job. first day he worked till night boss happy and asked what you did today? Man replied keyboard alphabets are not in order so, i rearranged it.

MD: i give you driver job starting salary two thousand Man: wow you are great sir starting salary ok how much driving salary?

boy1: yesterday i phoned to sachin and talked with him
boy2: super da what did he replied?
boy1: sorry wrong number.

Good morning have a horrible day without water in your bathroom while soap in your eyes. Oh sorry this msg is not for you it's only for those who take bath everyday.

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